Sunday, December 5, 2010

December 5, 2010

I'm so tired. I didn't sleep well last night. Got awakened when husband and cat had a fight at 2:45 this morning. Spent the next 30 minutes trying to find where the cat had peed in the apartment. Finally found it in my room. He had peed on one of my skirts that had fallen on the floor off the pile in the basket. Not much fun when you're on your hands and knees feeling the floor under the bed, under the desk, and anywhere else I could think of with husband making comments about my room being a mess. I was getting pretty ticked but just kept my mouth shut since I didn't feel like having a fight at that point. I just wanted to yell at him to stop being so damned insensitive. He forgets that I get easily exhausted at the worst times. Drives me nuts sometimes. I know I shouldn't be so sensitive to comments, but I am since I keep thinking I can do it and pay for it for the next few days. Grrr... 

So I finally went back to bed around 3:30 and it took a while for me to fall asleep again because my knees were complaining big time from going around on all fours. Woke up at 8:30 this morning, Andy was still up, he told me to go back to bed, went back and slept until 10 am and got up. My hips and knees were hurting too much for me to go back to sleep. Sat on the couch to get some knitting and crochert done and fell asleep there. Woke up at 1:30 this afternoon and I'm still exhausted now at 6 pm :( I tried for a nap around 5 but I couldn't fall asleep, just kept tossing and turning and not finding anywhere comfortable to lay.

I'm also out of metamucil and have to buy some tomorrow. The IBS is having a ball right now. I feel absolutely full, nothing's moving and all I've had so far today is a few crackers with peanut butter. I have a coupon for another brand, will have to see which one comes out cheaper. Doesn't help that my fibro kicked up a storm since friday. I want to up the amitriptylenes like the dr. told me to do when the pain is worse, but that would mean that the prescription runs out sooner which I really can't afford right now. I'm taking tylenol with codeine (generic) which gives my bowels issues, but i need something to dull the pain in my body. Probably why I'm also tired, I keep getting jabs and twinges in my arms and back and muscle knots (charley horses) in my legs. Stupid tremors have started up again off and on. And I've woken up twice in the last 3 days with my heart racing which means anxiety attacks. I don't get any during the day but apparently my brain is having issues while I sleep. So much fun living with a wrecked up body. 

The job I was hoping would become permanent has been delayed until the beginning of January. Whoopee :(
So it means I'll have to go apply for welfare this week since we have no money for anything right now and we need prescriptions filled and food to eat and rent to pay on January 1st. Can't do much with the pay for 8 days. It covers the rent and that's about it. 

I have some paperwork from the neurologist stating that I have problems getting around and need assistance and have major pain. I hope that welfare won't give me a hassle. I'm seeing a family doctor for the first time in 6 years. Been looking for one since we moved out here with no success. At least I have one now, just hope he's open minded about fibro. I think I have enough benchmarks that he won't kick up a fuss about it. Guess I'll see next week.

Just wish I could sleep decently. I feel so frakking tired every day irregardless of if I do something or not.

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