Chest Pains October 30th 2011

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vitamin_B12_deficiency

I saw Dr. Croft on Friday and had a long talk with him, which resulted in him recommending that I see a therapist. He put a request for me to meet one at the clinic. I hope I get a good one as the type of therapist I've had off and on in the past has been useless. I do not like being preached at or condescended to or pitied. These things are useless as far as I'm concerned. I made sure to tell him that as well. He asked me a whole bunch of questions, difficult questions that I had a hard time answering without admitting there is a problem. I finally decided to stop denying myself the help I so need to deal with my past. He was quite amazed at how much insight I have of my past and I told him, I know what happened, I realised it happened, but I've never been given the tools to treat those past issues. I've always floundered for the answers/cure. My husband has done a fantastic job helping me over the past 11 years, but now what's left, even he can't help me overcome.

My AIC (blood sugar) was at .066! That felt very good to hear that :)

He also said that I'm low on vitamin B12 and wants me to get shots every month. So I'll have to go to the clinic once a month to get a shot of B12. More than likely that this is caused by the Metformin I'm taking. And because of my sulfa based medication allergy, I don't have many choices of alternatives to Metformin. I had 2 choices for the B12, pills (which weren't covered) or shots (which are covered by OW) once a month. I obviously opted for the shots and didn't find out until later that I would have to come in the clinic once a month for a shot of B12. As if I couldn't give myself the shot LOL

I have a referral appointment for St Joe's to a lung specialist on November 11th. Dr. Croft will be forwarding the various results from both the lung and heart CT scans & ultra sounds. There appears to be anomalies in both organs that he can't figure out which is causing issues for the other or if they are totally unrelated.

We discussed very quickly that most of my symptoms could be a definite result of autonomic neuropathy and will have a better idea once I've gone to the specialist.

He's also going to put forward a request that I get some type of ambulatory assistance. (I'm dreading this one) I don't feel ready to capitulate and start relying on equipment to get me around. Especially that I would have nowhere to store said item when I'm at home or even using it at home. The carting of whatever equipment he's submitting a request for up and down the stairs of this building would kill me and it's not like I have anyone else to bring it in or out. Andy has his own health issues to contend with.

I'm not sure if it's the cold weather or the natural progression, but the pain in my chest is worsening. I can't raise both arms above my head to reach for a plate, etc without experiencing pain that cuts my breathing into gasps from the unreal pain that explodes in my chest. It literally feels like I"m being stabbed. I've also begun to have nightmares involving the pain and last night I had a whopper of a nightmare that I had caught a cold and I couldn't breath. Woke up terrified and shaking and it took a couple of hours to even consider going back to sleep. I dreaded it since I did not want to have that very real nightmare again.

The pain seems to be sitting on the sternum, not deep in the chest cavity. Reminds me of the chest pains I had as a child after I worked in the barn/fields moving heavy hay and straw bales. It felt like my chest was going to burst open which of course it wasn't going to do that but felt like a very real threat much the same as it does today.

I'm feeling helpless more and more as my body betrays me on a daily basis. Standing up is filled with pain, getting out of bed is filled with pain, sitting equals pain. The pain is located in my joints, muscles, skin, bones, organs. I really hope that it will plateau soon. I don't like having to take pain killers like oxycocet. They leave me fuzzy headed, unable to figure simple things out. The pain also saps my strength to do more than the very basic needs of living. I don't like housework, never had liked housework and now I look at housework with the resulting pain and absolutely do not want to do housework as it has become the most distasteful on my list of to do's.